Monday, March 24, 2014

Men are rarely depressed because ... (Don't be offended. Tis just a little fun!)

Like I said, men are rarely depressed because ...

Their last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can  never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt when you swim in the sea. You can wear NO shirt to swim in the sea. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £3000. Morning suit rental £100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one small suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, He or She can still be your friend. Your underwear is £5.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People
 
NICKNAMES - If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Crazy and Wildman.

EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL Men - wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing forever! 

After all, what do you expect from such simple creatures? :)
 

Saturday, March 22, 2014

James Patterson is the world's best-selling author. JK Rowling comes second in the American list ...

James Patterson, JK Rowling, Nora Roberts,Ted Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss, John Grisham; bottom: Stephenie Meyer, Dan Brown,  Nicholas Sparks, Janet Evanovich and Jeff Kinney. The best-selling authors since 2001

James Patterson, JK Rowling, Nora Roberts,Ted Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss, John Grisham; bottom: Stephenie Meyer, Dan Brown, Nicholas Sparks, Janet Evanovich and Jeff Kinney. The best-selling authors since 2001 

Martin Chilton
By , Culture Editor online
The Telegraph -  20 Mar 2014

James Patterson is the world's top-selling author since January 2001 (with his biggest-selling title being 1st to Die), it was revealed in new lists based on print volume sales issued by publishing data experts Nielsen.
Patterson, who will be 67 on March 22, is the author of the Alex Cross detective books and has sold more than 300 million copies since his debut, The Thomas Berryman Number, was published in 1976, the first of 130 novels. His books account for one out of every 17 hardcover novels purchased in the United States.

Patterson, who last month said he was giving away nearly £1million of his personal fortune to support local bookshops in America, also writes young adult fiction and recently wrote a special short story set in London to encourage children to read as part of World Book Day. Patterson's Middle School: How I Got Lost in London tells the story of Rafe Khatchadorian and a school trip to London, and includes mentions of Tate Modern, HMS Belfast and the National Theatre.

Patterson does well in the UK as well (in sixth place). In the figures for UK volume and earnings sales, however, JK Rowling (who takes second spot in the US list) is top, her books having earned £209,722,338 in the UK since 2001. Julia Donaldson, Jacqueline Wilson, Roger Hargreaves, EL James and Jamie Oliver are also in the UK top 10. Children's authors are successful in America, too, with Dr Seuss (the late Ted Geisel), Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kinney and Twilight creator Stephenie Meyer all in the US top 10. The best-selling book of Dr Seuss is Oh, the Places You'll Go! which includes the lines:
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 per cent guaranteed.)


For Patterson, who already has nine books scheduled for publication in 2014, it seems success is 100 per cent guaranteed.


WORLD'S 10 BEST-SELLING AUTHORS (WITH BIGGEST-SELLING BOOK) SINCE 2001
1: James Patterson (1st to Die)
2: JK Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
3: Nora Roberts (Red Lily)
4: Dr Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)
5 John Grisham (A Painted House)
6: Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)
7: Dan Brown (The Da Vinci Code)
8: Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)
9: Janet Evanovich (One for the Money)
10: Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

List compiled by Nielsen (US) Book Data


UK'S 20 BEST-SELLING AUTHORS BY VOLUME (WITH VALUE LISTED) 2001-MARCH 20, 2014
1 JK Rowling – £209,722,338
2 Julia Donaldson – £84,236,523
3 Dan Brown – £89,430,433
4 Jacqueline Wilson – £81,944,149
5 Roger Hargreaves – £30,746,661
6 James Patterson £86,534,077
7 EL James – £48,787,532
8 Jamie Oliver – £131,031,085
9 John Grisham – £71,111,424
10 Terry Pratchett – £79,091,038
11 Stephenie Meyer – £57,488,542
12 Daisy Meadows – £33,333,081
13 Enid Blyton – £38,525,177
14 Francesca Simon – £42,459,107
15 Danielle Steel – £50,268,720
16 Martina Cole – £54,414,431
17 Roald Dahl – £42,987,766
18 Alexander McCall Smith – £48,535,939
19 Lee Child – £44,312,245
20 Ian Rankin – £48,171,091

UK figures courtesy of www.nielsenbook.co.uk 


And separate story - James Patterson is the world's bestselling author since 2001. But how is he releasing 15 novels this year alone?

Thursday, March 13, 2014

New Zealand Oil rig worker ( Michael Jerome McKay) claims in confirmed letter - that he 'saw' the Malaysian plane go down - five days ago!

Yes, five days ago!!

Here's the letter I have copied and pasted directly from Bob Woodruff's twitter feed - who is anchor for News.

Why oh why was something not done immediately? Click to enlarge.
Links to this post:

YouTube - below. China: Satellite images may show plane wreckage.

My heart goes out to everyone concerned. Unimaginable.