Saturday, December 20, 2014

Are you a crazy dog person?

1. You refer to yourself as your dog’s “mum” or “dad” and think that it’s totally normal (because it is).

2. You’ve gotten used to spelling out words instead of saying them, and catch yourself doing it even when your dog isn’t around.

“I had to w-a-l-k to work today because my c-a-r is in the shop.”

3. Your morning alarm is a wet nose in your face, and a wagging tail knocking against everything in your bedroom.

4. You prefer to share your bed with your dog, even though you know you will only get a few inches of free space.

5. You prefer to stay in on the weekends, and have cancelled plans because you don’t want to leave your dog.

6. You regularly set up “play dates” with your dog’s friends.

7. You talk in your “dog voice” for at least half of the day, even when people are around.

“You are soooo cute, I could just squeeze you! Oh yes I could! Oh yes I could!”

8. You have skyped with your dog while away on a trip.

9. You throw a birthday party for your pooch – birthday hat, cake, presents, and guests all included.

10. You know that your dog is the only one who will truly be there for you any time of day or night, and will always greet you with a big wet kiss and a wagging tail


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Sincere sympathy for my Australian friends across the ditch

In the heart of Sydney's CBD stands a small coffee shop (Lindt Chocolate Cafe), which as one would expect the week before Christmas, was bustling with shoppers innocently going about their day. Yesterday, a man believed to be an Islamist gunman, took hostage of all those inside.  
The gunman

The centre of the city was promptly put in lock-down. 
Hostages were pressed against the window in front of horrified witnesses where a black flag with white Arabic writing was brandished across the shop window.

It was with a heavy heart this morning that I woke to the news that although the siege was over, it had been a deadly one. Two innocent people (thus far) are dead, a 34-year-old man and a 38-year old woman, along with the gunman identified as an Iranian refugee. Two women also suffered non-life threatening injuries as did a policeman who had been hit in the face by pellets.

I am appalled and horrified that this atrocity has occurred on my doorstep. I have been to Sydney countless times. I have friends who live there. It is a warm, vibrant city and one that I love dearly.

As a civalised human being, I have always included and accepted everyone that I have encountered, no matter their colour, religious or political persuasion.  It is an abomination that others cannot live and let live also.

My heart breaks for those we have lost, and for their family and friends that are now heartbroken and confused.  This should never have happened. They were good, honest, hard working people. 

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The two hostages killed during the were Katrina Dawson, 38, and Tori Johnson, 34.

Long live democracy.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Thoughts for a Saturday morning Down Under and Off to the Side

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. 

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
8. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
10. He who hesitates is probably right.
11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
12. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

I gotta say that number 9 rings true. Have any of you ever bought a replacement only to find said object 'exactly' where you left it?! 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Flight from Hell ...

This has gotta be my worst nightmare.
I remember flying from London to Auckland some years ago with a woman with a young baby in the seat next to me that screamed, non-stop, at the top of its lungs for 27 solid hours. True. It may have only been one small child, but I swear I may as well have been seated in the aircraft above. 

The worst flight - ever.

You? Any unfortunate flying experiences?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

WARNING To fellow bloggers who swipe images from other bloggers.

They stop following you. 

My last post included an image (nothing more) that was taken (smack on the hand) from someone's blog. One of a million that can be found free on the internet. Sorry if I'm wrong, but the last I heard, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Clearly I was wrong.

Now, said person who unfollowed me said;  'I decided there was no reason to follow your blog. I can read my own posts at home.' 

How many posts did I appropriate? Hundreds? Thousands? No. Just one ... image ... deep breath.

Now, not only did I make mention of 'said person,' in my last post,  but I linked back to them, apologised (admittedly in a jovial manner) and thanked them.

Now, I've never given a flying fig how many people follow me - or unfollow me for that matter. That was never the purpose of this blog. But what I do care about, is downright rudeness. 

Oh, and for the record, if any of you wish to download any pictures from my humble blog - go for your life. In fact, take the whole bloody lot. I don't care. It's only an image for goodness sake, not my lower limbs.

Amid all the turmoil going on in this world, this is what some people bitch about. No wonder there's no hope for the human race.

Rant over.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

How many times do I have to tell you?

I've swiped this pic directly from Dixie at An Artful Blogger, (I don't normally go around stealing things - honestly) because ... well, it's just so darn funny!
Thanks Dixie :)

Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Rules of Life

Sometimes we just need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are....

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three martinis.

2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologise" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe it.

8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, 'Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?'

9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Monday, November 24, 2014

(For Writers) Building your author platform: Free Book Promotion Sites

1. iAuthor Top of the list and one of the newer sites around, is iAuthor.  Very easy to use, iAuthor manages to fit everything neatly on one screen, including the promo video if you have one.  You can add your book to ‘themes’ ranging from ‘indie books looking for reviewers’ to ‘stories from ‘adventures in far off lands’.

2. Wattpad Much more focused on encouraging creative writing than book promotion, the best way to use Wattpad to build your author platform is to upload the first chapter of your books and encourage readers to take a look and comment.  There is a really wide ranging user base catering for every taste.

3. e-novelist E-Novelist is a free platform for writers to connect, share their work and contribute to forums, blogs and groups to share ideas on the writing process, from promotion, to blogging and publishing.  It is a simple process to upload book covers and excerpts and the support is excellent.

4. Ganxy Ganxy is a really well thought out campaign-based website where you do all the work for 90% of sales.  It only takes a few minutes to set up pages to sell from any website, blog, or even Facebook pages.  Ganxy collects payments and can deliver your book in any format to any device, so it looks very future-proof.

5. Smashwords Smashwords is a great way to reach a wider readership, as people can easily download samples of your work in any format. Smashwords is important as it reached all the non-Amazon outlets, such as Apple, Barnes & Noble and Kobo.  From your author platform Smashwords can act as another free webpage for new readers to ‘discover’. 

6. Bublish 
Bublish is one of the newest sites and also one of the most innovative, with the idea of ‘book bubbles’ where authors can say something interesting to accompany an excerpt.  It’s still in ‘beta’ so they are interested in ideas on how it can be developed, but Bublish is easy to use, as you just follow the prompts on each screen to complete your profile, add a book or create and share ‘book bubbles’. You can create and share unlimited book bubbles and they even add ‘buy’ links for you.

7. AUTHORSdB Another innovative site, AUTORSdB has a weekly list of randomly selected authors and a special Author Spotlight which offer authors useful exposure to new readers.

8. The Writers Room If you take a look at the listed authors you’ll see there are some very well-known writers here, so you’ll be in good company.  The Writers Room has a nice feature where readers can learn more about their favourite authors and ask them questions, as well as comment on their books.

9. LibraryThing LibraryThing is an online service to help people catalogue up to 200 books.  At the present time there are 11,193 LibraryThing Authors and a community of 1,700,000 ‘book lovers’. It costs nothing to make sure you are listed properly.  If you have the time you can also post reviews.

10. Shelfari 
Shelfari is owned by Amazon and is a site where users build ‘virtual bookshelves’ of books they read and they can rate, review, tag and discuss their books. Users can also create groups where other members can join and talk about books, or other topics.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Eco-friendly 'poo bus' powered by human waste

Continuing on with the 'poo theme' (sorry about that, really I am) I found this news article rather interesting. 

Britain's first bus to be powered by human and food waste has taken to the roads.

The 40-seat Bio-Bus, nicknamed "the number two," will transport people between Bath and Bristol Airport.

The biomethane gas it runs on is produced at a sewage treatment works at Avonmouth.
The eco-friendly vehicle can travel up to 300km (186 miles) on one tank of gas, which takes the annual waste of about five people to produce.
Waste not want not I say ...